LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Jonnie Irwin, who has been battling terminal cancer, offered devastating comments as he prepared gifts for his children's 18th birthdays. The former 'A Place In The Sun' host, 49, and his wife Jessica Holmes, whom he married in September 2016, have three children together: Rex, 3, and the twins Rafa and Cormac, who are two years old.
The father of three, who recently admitted he hasn't told his three young sons about his cancer, said last year that he doesn't know how much longer he has to live because lung cancer has moved to his brain.
Jonnie has been making preparations for Rex, Rafa, and Cormac "for the days he won't be there" and recently bought three very special gifts to be given to them when they each turn 18. In a recent interview, Jonnie gave followers some information about his cancer struggle and discussed his grief over the realization that he won't be here to watch his three little sons grow up. What hurts Jonnie the most is the idea that his three children are going to forget him.
'I'm destined to be a footnote'
"It pains me to think the twins probably won't remember me. You hear people say: 'I don't remember my dad. He died when I was so young'. I think about that and it breaks my heart because that's what I'm destined to be, really - a footnote in their life," Jonnie revealed to HELLO! "So I try to [make] monuments of my love for them."
Monuments of his love
One of the memorials the beloved father established for his sons is the house he purchased 18 months ago when he and Jessica relocated their family from Hertfordshire to Newcastle. The move was in order to be closer to Jessica's family amid his fight with the illness. Jonnie purchased the home entirely so that his family wouldn't have to fret about paying a mortgage. He intends to make the home a "cool" and "loving" environment for the children.
'It can happen at any time'
The 49-year-old father has also revealed that he often "removes himself" from his home to a hospice. He said, "I remove myself on a number of occasions because I'm not good to be around when I'm in pain. I'm like a bear with a sore head and I don't want them to be around that." Reflecting on the prospect of death, Jonnie said, "It can happen at any time. I’m here to stop it for as long as possible."
