Tracey Emin has opened up about “totally accepting death” when she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of bladder cancer in 2020. In June 2020, visual artist Emin was diagnosed with cancer, and subsequently underwent a series of major surgeries, including a full hysterectomy, as well as the removal of her urethra, bladder, lymph nodes, and part of her vagina and intestine. In April 2021, she shared that the cancer was “gone” after the surgery. In a new interview with The Times, Emin, 60, explained that upon her diagnosis, she was told that there was no guarantee the surgery would be successful in removing the cancer. At the time of her diagnosis, Emin said that she had feared being “dead by Christmas”. As a result, the Turner Prize nominee explained: “I totally accepted death – absolutely, totally.” “I think accepting death on such a profound level was what’s kept me alive,” she said. “I thought, you know what? Death looks after itself. We all die – now I’ll look after living. “I realised that my life has never really been living. I’ve been just dying. I’ve been so nihilistic. I thought, this is gonna change – if I get through this I want to look forward to things and I want to be present.” Emin, 60, now has a stoma (an opening on the abdomen connected to the urinary system allowing waste to be diverted out of the body) and uses a urostomy bag, which she will need to use for the rest of her life. On International Women’s Day in March, Emin penned a powerful personal essay in The Independent about her relationship with her body after surgery. Here, the artist admitted that she “hated” her bag, “but most days I’m philosophical; knowing that it keeps me alive”. She recalled: “One of my greatest golden moments was when my entire bag came off in Chanel on Bond Street: a tsunami of p*** cascading down my body crashing to the champagne-carpeted floor. Everyone was lovely and understood, Chanel even sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers.” For the article published in The Independent, Emin created an exclusive acrylic on canvas artwork, titled “Marriage to Myself”. She also shared a candid photograph of herself standing in front of a full-length mirror with her white urostomy bag visible. While Emin works almost exclusively in the paint medium now, in June she unveiled three bronze doors that she secretly worked on for the re-opening of the National Portrait Gallery following a substantial £44m redevelopment. Etched in individual panels on the doors are 45 female faces, which Emin explained were inspired by facets of her “soul”. Emin said that her arrangement with the National Portrait Gallery was that she was not paid for the work (the gallery only paid the production fees), in exchange for total creative freedom. “It wasn’t a commission,” she explained. “I did it for free. I think the gallery wants to push the idea of portraiture in a different way. “There’s so many different ways to experience somebody’s, let’s say, soul. It doesn’t just have to be what they look like. It could be a portrait of the soul, for example. It could be lots of different things. So I think they wanted it to move away from the idea of classic portraiture. To stretch it.”

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Britney Spears shot to fame as the quintessential sugar-pop princess but, in 2003, she showed her serious side with the moving hit ‘Everytime’. And now, the track has acquired a whole new meaning in the light of revelations made in her upcoming memoir ‘The Woman in Me’. In the autobiography, Spears, 41, claims that she fell pregnant during her three-year relationship with fellow superstar Justin Timberlake. And while she’d been convinced that she and the NSYNC heartthrob would have children together “one day”, she said he “definitely wasn’t happy” about the news. The singer wrote in an excerpt published by People on Tuesday: “I loved Justin so much. I always expected us to have a family together one day. This would just be much earlier than I’d anticipated. “But Justin definitely wasn’t happy about the pregnancy. He said we weren’t ready to have a baby in our lives, that we were way too young.” She went on: “I’m sure people will hate me for this, but I agreed not to have the baby. I don’t know if that was the right decision. If it had been left up to me alone, I never would have done it. “And yet Justin was so sure that he didn’t want to be a father.” Spears then revealed that she had an abortion in late 2000 when she was just 18 or 19 years old, and said the procedure was “one of the most agonizing things” she had ever experienced. Inevitably, the deeply personal disclosure soon dominated social media, with fans convinced that ‘Everytime’ was, in fact, a tribute to her lost, unborn child. They swiftly scanned the music video and performances for clues – and the evidence seems pretty convincing. In the end, the ‘Baby One More Time’ star went on to have two sons — Sean Preston, who is now 18, and Jayden James, who is 17 – with her ex-husband Kevin Federline. Meanwhile, Timberlake also has two sons – Silas, 8, and Phineas, 3 – with his wife Jessica Biel. The ‘Cry me a River’ idol had apparently been “concerned” about what Spears was going to write about him in her book, which will be released on 224 October. “It’s eating at him,” one insider told Page Six. Maybe now, to quote ‘Everytime’, it will haunt him, too. Sign up for our free Indy100 weekly newsletter Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.